Take Me Away

Photo reblogged from My photo blog :) with 3 notes

Im done now. You have put me through so much pain in these past months. The restless nights worrying so much about you it felt like a knife into my stomach, which was too empty to begin with, the endless weekends where you decided your friend’s over me just so that they wouldn’t feel betrayed. Which was fine, every guys needs his friend time but they are not your friends, they hurt you, they are straying you away from the real reason that you think you “come to church.” Coming to bible study, church and anything else just to see me when you should instead come for Jesus. He fricken died for you and you thank him with raves, lukewarmness, and partying. Those are the moments that scare me the most, I care about you so much that I stayed with you just so that would be in a church environment. Why wouldn’t you kiss me for more than a second? We have been together for 10 months. Now im done, I want you to wake up to the things you have put me through. Hopefully all this weight will be put on to your shoulders, and it will wake you up enough to realize how much I could have given you if you just let me in. Our relationship never got deeper than the surface. Aside from being a gentleman you couldn’t have hurt me harder. I almost decided to not break up with you because how much you tried to give me: dinner, bracelets, coffee, prom, and other things that I now realize are only material things used just to fill the huge spiritual and emotional gap that became a huge purple elephant smack in the middle of everything. I need more from you, and yes it is my fault for not telling you sooner, it was not fair to you but you should have seen how much I cared and how much I was trying to let you talk to me. You said the past is the past and that nothing can ever change it, but guess what the past changes who you are in the future and your past has hurt you. The people you let yourself get involved with and the things you let yourself do just so you could be “accepted” and then to later find out you looked like an idiot, they are worthless and you gave them your greatest priority. Im done being your trophy when we hang with your friends. Im done being the symbol that lets them know you are just fine with your christian girl that has everything together and your “perfect” life as a gymnast. I have problems too, do you ever ask about them? I dont remember. This will hurt for me too when its over but I will find someone better, someone who won’t use me to say everything is ok. I will always love you because thats what happens, I love too much and it hurts like hell. I hope you find Jesus one day for real this time and I hope to see you in heaven. But while he works on your spirit here on earth, hopefully you go to church for him and not for a person, wake up to how you have disrespecting him in so many ways by ignoring the commands he has given you, and lastly I hope you find integrity through this and find your real self that won’t listen to the lies satan has been telling you all these years. You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are intelligent, handsome, and downright spontaneous. But that said Im done. Im done. Im done. Im done. goodbye. <3

And I named each one alphabetically.

That moment when a lesbian asks for your friend request on facebook….what

this will probably be my child :)

That moment when your friend spits her gum in your face and calls you a beoch and you don’t have any gum to spit back at her.

That moment when your sneeze is bigger than yourself and you practically fall out of your chair in public.

Photo with 1 note

I am broken hearted not sure what to do